What a difference a week can make!

Last week at this time, my husband and I were celebrating the fact that we would become grandparents again sometime in the month of December. Today, that changed. Unfortunately our daughter in law miscarried today. Apparently, Jesus needed our angel before we would have a chance to meet. I know that little angel is right there in Jesus’ arms. I take comfort in that.

Even though I am comforted knowing that God has our angel, it is still heartbreaking to think of that tiny life He created, taken from all of us so suddenly and without explanation. It is times like these when someone might question Gods reasons for doing certain things. I have to admit that I have had some of those questions today.

Is He trying to teach someone a lesson of some sort? Maybe wanting to pull someone closer to Him? Maybe open some eyes? I don’t know. I wish I could understand, but I don’t.

No matter what though, I know God loves all of us, Justin and Misty, that tiny baby He created in Misty’s womb and then decided He needed to call home before we had a chance to meet, myself and Gerald, all the rest of our family members. I know God has plans for each of us and somehow, though we don’t understand and my never, somehow, this is all part of those plans. We do not have to understand, only trust Him.

I know for a fact that if I did not trust in God, have all my faith in Him and His promises, I would not have made it through today as I have. It is times like this that a person realizes their true strength, and I realized that mine is nothing without God.

I cry for this tiny baby that we did not get to meet, my heart breaks for my son and his wife. But, I know that together, and keeping our focus on Christ, we will survive this. Somehow, this tragedy will bring all of us closer to Him, more dependent on Him, trusting more in Him. Somehow this loss will increase our faith in Jesus. Somehow Jesus will shine through all of this, and we will be right here to witness that wonderful glow!!

Still, we are sad. I am so blessed to have never (THANK YOU LORD) had to accept the permanent loss of a child, or grandchild, until now. Even though we only knew of this little angel’s existance for less than two weeks, we loved him/her. And now, we miss him/her.

Isn’t it amazing how you can love someone so much, even though you have never met them? Wow, just had an AH-HA moment!

Think about this for a moment. We love a child as soon as we know we are expecting one, yet we have never seen or heard them, nor have we ever met them, but there is no denying that we love that child. We would die for that child! Am I right? You know I am. So, then why is it so hard for us to love Jesus unconditionally? We’ve not met Him, true, but we know so much more about Him than any unborn child. We know without a doubt that He loves us, unconditionally. So, why is it so hard for us to give Him our heart?? It really should not be any different, or maybe it actually should.

For some people, they have to hear that heartbeat, or see the ultrasound image before they really feel a connection with an unborn child, for others that is just the icing on the cake. Well, Christ’s heartbeat is the cross, His ultrasound-the Bible. So, I ask again, why is it so hard for some to love Him? We have the evidence of His life and existance, yet so often we choose to ignore that evidence. I know I can hear and feel Jesus’ heartbeat anytime I look at a cross because I think of what He did on that cross for me. I think of the fact that His heartbeat STOPPED on that cross, ALL FOR ME!! And anytime I want to look at an ultrasound image of Jesus, all I have to do is open my Bible and read about Him!

There is nothing special about me that should make God never want to have me suffer any kind of pain. Who am I? What would make me that special? Nothing. But, Jesus was VERY special, yet he suffered extreme pain, and I believe He still does at times. I believe that anytime someone turns their back on Jesus, He feels the pain of that loss.

Who am I that I could think that I deserve to be treated any better than Jesus? I don’t. Not in the least. I don’t even deserve the wonderful treatment that He gives me! He was CRUCIFIED and DIED just so that I (yep, little ole pitiful me) could have the opportunity for eternal life with God!! How can I possibly think that I don’t deserve to hurt even just a little? That’s just it, I deserve so much more pain than God allows me to have, yet He protects me from it!! He loves me that much! And I know that He will get all of us through this difficult time.

Thank you Lord Jesus!! Thank you for loving me, thank you for giving us the opportunity to love that little angel you sent for Justin and Misty, even though it was only for a short time. Thank you for loving us so much that you will help us through this, even if we never understand it. Thank you for giving us your word for comfort and peace, as well as instruction and guidance.

Rest well in Jesus arms tonight Baby Hall! Mawmaw loves you! 


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